Researchers in New Zealand, using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) technology to compare the brains of people with dyslexia to the brains of non-dyslexic individuals, have discovered an interesting phenomenon. It seems dyslexic individuals try to read using the right side of their brains, whereas typical readers use the left side of their brains to read.
As a southpaw, I’ve long relied on the W.C. Fields adage, “If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, and the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body, then left-handed people must be the only ones in their right minds.” (For more interesting facts about being left-handed, visit The Left-Handed Site – be sure to check out the “The World Is Against Us” section.)
Now that this research has come out, I propose a new line of research on the following potential cure for dyslexia. All individuals with dyslexia should be taught to do everything left-handed. In fact, for convenience, all right-handers should be converted to left-handedness. My hypothesis is as follows: once a person is forced to use his or her right brain for all physical activities, this would essentially “free up” the left brain for non-physical activities like reading. If my cure works, we could immediately begin the process of banning right-handedness from our public school systems altogether.
(Now that I think about it, I brush my teeth with my right hand. I bet that’s the reason I got behind in the reading for my statistics class this semester! From now on, it’s lefty all the way. Please, if you see me doing anything with my right hand, remind me. My education may be at stake here.)
I know what you’re thinking: my solution is just too simple. My response? Friends of the guy who invented Silly Putty probably thought the same thing…
You heard it here first.
(Skeptical? Well they were skeptical about the guy who discovered the Slinky, too. Everybody’s a critic.)
- Peter Beddow
Update: For some serious information about dyslexia, you can travel here, here, here, or even here.
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